Retribution
by Bobbie23
Summary: Spoilers for 25 to Life and It Takes a Village. Morgan's restraint is tested.


**Disclaimer – I don't own** _ **Criminal Minds**_ **or any of the characters.**

 **Author Note – Spoilers for** _ **25 to Life**_ **and** _ **It Takes a Village.**_ **Text in** _ **italics**_ **in the second half of this is actual dialogue from** _ **It Takes a Village.**_

Retribution

" _In its' purest form, an act of retribution provides symmetry. The rendering payment of crimes against the innocent. But a danger on retaliation lies on the furthering cycle of violence. Still, it's a risk that must be met; and the greater offense is to allow the guilty go unpunished."  
― __Emily Thorne_ _, Revenge_

She wipes her hands with the towel thoroughly. She flips it every few seconds as the fabric quickly absorbs the blood. Soon there is more red fabric than white but her skin still feels slick so she keeps wringing her hands because there's so much blood. Her movements become quick and frantic, bordering on maniacal. Emily stares at them and in the back of her mind she knows the pink flush of her skin is from the fiction of working the towel over it but she can't stop.

Beside her Morgan clears his throat and Emily pauses as she remembers she has an audience. She looks at him from under her lashes and meets his dark eyes full of questions and empathy. Then she realises she rinsed the blood from her hands hours ago and they're not in that apartment anymore and it's just them in the bar nursing their tumblers of bourbon. The Unsub had been apprehended and charged. Strauss tried to pull rank and order Rossi to interrogate Stanworth because she was still worried about the political fallout. He sat back and let Morgan lead.

Emily tosses the napkin on to the table and clasps her hands over her knee which is draped over the other. She blinks once, twice, to completely displace the memory she was momentarily captured by. It is then that she meets his gazes without anything between them, anything protecting her. His concern is still present in his stare and she knows he's about to lean forward and ask what's wrong all the while being mindful of the only other late night occupant of the bar, the bartender.

 _She_ was supposed to be comforting _him_ , not the other way around. He's had a tough time recently, first with LA and the ensuing trouble with Ellie, and then the last few days were a blow to his confidence which she knew he took personally. She knows how hard it was to accept her offer of a drink when everyone else was heading off to bed. Morgan was always willing to offer others comfort yet he rarely accepted any for himself, preferring to deal with it alone. Then again, it may make him feel better to comfort her.

"I'm fine," she says without giving him an opportunity to ask.

His eyes draw together as he focuses on her for what feels like a full minute before his forehead smooths but she can see that he doesn't believe her; she's got to admit it's obvious she's lying, not many would believe her. She could be more convincing if she wanted. It used to be her job to lie. While she kept the important thigs to herself, things she had to keep to herself, she tried to be as honest as she could with the team. There was a part of Emily that didn't want to lie, she knew they would understand. It was easier for her to let her guard down because of this.

So she shakes her head again and meets Morgan's gaze which is still focused on her. Then she shrugs. "It's part of the job."

"It's the part you hate the most."

She sighed and ducked her chin away from him. "I don't hate it," she tells him. "I am _uncomfortable_ with it," she concedes. Morgan continues to stare at her and she lifts her lips quickly in apology for her small lie. "Okay, maybe I hate it. We do everything we can to save these people and sometimes it's not enough. Their life literally slips through our hands." Emily shuts her mouth then, realises her voice is louder than she intends it to be. Morgan looks over at the bar and stares down the bartender till he turns away and gives them their privacy.

"They wouldn't have died if I hadn't let Sanderson outta jail," Morgan replies when he returns his attention to her.

"You made the right decision Morgan," Emily sighs. "Tom Wittman attacked him, Sanderson was defending himself. He was innocent and he spent twenty five years in prison for two murders he didn't commit."

"I thought he did it," Morgan admits. Emily shakes her head.

"You gave him a chance to redeem himself; you shouldn't feel guilty for that."

"I know that."

He doesn't sound convinced and she knows he'll be second guessing himself for a while even though they proved Sanderson was innocent. So she changes her tack. "He wanted justice for his family. You would want the same," Emily adds cautiously.

"Yeah," Morgan agrees. He hunches forward, his arms loosely folding in front of his chest protectively. "But I would go about it differently."

"Would you? Really?" She questions. And it's not about Don Sanderson anymore. It's about Morgan who was led by his emotions; Emily could understand his frustration and admired his restraint and self-control even though she often wondered what would push him over that edge. She's seen him face the man who abused him as a child and he never made any attempt to exact revenge for himself only for the boys who died and were being abused.

"What exactly do you want to know Emily?"

The edge to his voice made her sit back. She wasn't backing away or down; she just wanted a better view of him to assess his body language.

"I don't know. I've always been curious about people's breaking point, what they'll do for people they love. It's what we do isn't it?" Emily asks rhetorically and sees her mistake and offers him a reproachful smile. "I'm sorry, I know we're not supposed to profile each other but I was wondering what yours was."

If Carl Buford didn't make him snap, what would?

Morgan breathes in and his back straightens. His whole posture is defensive, she still doesn't back down. She knows how pissed she'd be if their positions were reversed. They both have secrets they need to keep to themselves and neither has pushed the other to reveal them but there is an unspoken rule of underlying honesty between them. They don't lie about their cases or their frustrations. It's one of Hotch's rules, along with not profiling one another.

"I respect and uphold the justice system Prentiss," he says stiffly.

She sighs and thanks the alcohol for boosting her confidence to stick with this line of questioning. He could be so stubborn. She doesn't want to provoke him. She's asking purely out of curiosity. The last thing she wants is to cause a rift between them by pushing him into thinking about something he'd rather not think about.

"I know you do, and I do too. I understand the problem with the public taking matters into their own hands but I understand how it would make them feel better," Emily reasons.

"Yeah, but the 'eye for an eye' kind of revenge doesn't do justice for the victims," Morgan argues back. "It's the easy way out and I don't think it honours them. The victim deserves more for what's taken from them."

…..

" _I've got the shot, Agent."_

" _Don't take the shot! Don't shoot! I got him!"_

Almost a year later, Morgan stands on top a roof top in the middle of the night. His arm is raised, the gun in his hand aimed at the back of Ian Doyle's head. His finger trembles as it curls around the trigger as he pauses and internally he calls for the strength need not to fire at the man who took his partner from them. His fingers feel slick and his grip is slippery. Logically he knows it's sweat but he can almost feel Emily's blood seeping through his fingers as he holds the weapon.

Doyle turns to face him.

" _Want to kill me yourself Agent?"_

Morgan meets Doyle's eyes as brazenly stares back at him with his eye brow kinked cockily. His arms are raised in surrender but Morgan can see the defiance in him. While Morgan pants from the exertion and the hand to hand scuffle they've just had, his ribs throb from the kick Doyle landed to them, and Doyle seems unaffected. Morgan scowls at the Irish man, wishing he had done more damage when he had the chance, he deserved that and more.

" _Yes, sometimes I think I want to quit my job and spend my time chasing the son of a bitch who killed Emily. You're damn right I'm angry."_

He's angry, angrier than he's felt in a long time, if ever. It's been building since he found Emily bleeding out on that warehouse floor. He's been so focused on finding Doyle, he never really thought about what he would do when he found him. He blames himself and has been shouldering the guilt for the last seven months. His relentless search has been his self-inflicted punishment for not being quick enough, good enough, to stop Doyle before he killed Emily. Morgan's finger trembles on the trigger, he is desperate to squeeze it. He wants this man dead. His arm doesn't waiver, his gun remains trained on Doyle. He holds his breath, hesitates.

Hotch told him to take this shot.

This could be the only chance to take this shot.

The decision is taken out of his hands as JJ approaches Doyle with her gun raised. Once close enough she checks Morgan and the sniper and holsters her weapon and pulls her cuffs from her belt. Doyle doesn't resist as his arms are pulled behind his back and JJ cuffs him as she recites the miranda rights to him. Doyle stares through Morgan, daring him to pull that trigger while he has the chance.

In his head he repeats over and over why this man should live, not only to find Declan, but to go to jail and serve the sentence he deserves for crimes he's committed. Nothing compares to the image of Emily lying under his hands, her blood pouring through his fingers as he begs her to hold on and she begs him to let her go. His finger coils around the trigger.

Blue eyes peek at him from over Doyle's shoulder, full of concern, begging him to lower the gun. JJ knows he is still tempted to shoot even though Doyle is restrained. Doyle's smirk widens as Morgan tightens his grip on the gun. It's the smirk that makes Morgan pause and relax his grip on the gun. It's what the Irishman wants. He wants Morgan to take the shot, knows what will happen if Morgan does.

Morgan wishes he had the luxury of taking the shot.

Morgan won't give Doyle that satisfaction.

He owes it to Emily not to take the shot.

She deserves more than that.

" _Guilt is a feeling that you owe a debt that you're not paying."  
― __Stefan Molyneux_


End file.
